Gbazz

I was bored this afternoon when I remembered that Annik Skelton (@neekatron) tweeted that while she was out drinking herself into a stupor, she or one of her degenerate friends had the wonderful idea of singing ‘Hakuna Matata’ into the I Am T-Pain iPhone app.

Now I tried singing that, but it doesn’t sound cool when you’re the only person singing into the phone so I decided to sing ‘Bleeding Love’ by Leona Lewis. To spice things up a little bit I also sang the song in my best Southern Accent. Audio quality isn’t the best, but what do you expect from something with T-Pains name on it?

Click the link to listen: Bleeding Love

On another topic, Adam (@ohnoitsadam) just told me about a nightmare that he had last night. There was this weird rapist in his nightmare (no, he was not raping Adam) who had gotten caught, or was being interviewed fro something and he had this strange raspy voice which totally terrified Adam.

Luckily for Adam, his alarm went off then and he started waking up when he realised that the rapists horrifyingly raspy voice was actually my snoring.

So there you go, my snores sound like a rapist. Thank you very much.

So I made the cake! Definitely going to play around with fondant in the future.

The white layer looks a bit bumpy but that’s probably because the fondant is too thin.

Up next, pretty cupcakes!

This is not the cake I'm making for Adam. Isn't it pretty though?

Something strange happened this year, I ran out of gift ideas for Adam’s birthday! So I decided that aside from the usual presents, I would try to make him a special cake.

Now I can’t go into too much detail just yet, since it isn’t complete yet, and because Adam might read this. Let me just say that it involves rolled fondant.

I’ve always wondered how people made wedding cakes that look so great and during one of my occaisional Flickr trawlings I stumbled on some of the most beautiful cukcakes I’ve ever seen in this photostream. After looking through all of her pictures I saw a comment that mentioned fondant, and that’s pretty much how I got into this baking situation.

I only saw one type of fondant in Woolies and it didn’t look or taste that great, so I looked for a recipe that claimed to be for a relatively tasty fondant. After much searching, this recipe came up and I’m glad to say that it’s been a success! (On the second try though, I wasn’t paying attention to the pan on my first go and burned the lot.)

I’ve just got to make a couple more batches in the morning, grab the last of his presents from the shops and then we’re set!

Once the cake is complete, I’ll do a blog post with pictures. Hopefully the cake turns out well!

Give them their sunscreeeeeeeeeeen!

There are fewer places I like to spend time at more than my computer, and they’re the kitchen and the beach.

My fondness for the kitchen is pretty obvious from the pictures I’ve put up on TwitPic. I love showing off the stuff I cook (as long the food is pretty) and my love for eating is evidenced by my ever expanding waistline.

As for the beach- Ahhh the beach! Everyone loves the beach. With all the warm sand, hot people and sharks that eat other sharks, who wouldn’t have a great time at the beach?

Redheads, that’s who. I went to the beach with some friends on Sunday, and one of them happens to be a ranga (See? It is possible to be friends with one.) Sean (the ranga) had to wear a cap, a rash vest and about three litres of sunscreen which made the sand and the chips we were eating stick to him.

Poor ranga’s. Someone should set up a Red Zone on every beach with enclosed tents for the redheads to sit in and stations with thirty litre containers of sunscreen just to keep them from burning on the beach.

Poor rangas.

What’s long, wide and full of win? A package! Just like the one that arrived this afternoon!

These were comissioned from Brucey (@buccaneerbrucey on Twitter), a very talented artist who I happened to have gone to school with. He’s also started up a webcomic called Ranga Academy which only has one post up at the moment. Make sure you click the subscribe button to keep up to date on what our red haired buddy is getting up to. All I can say is that our little friend is  in a dumpster at the moment, but who knows? That may change soon…

UPDATE: You can also view a lo res digital version of the complete work at Brucey’s deviantart gallery.

Last Thursday morning, as I was on my way back to the Radiology department after picking up coffee for Kerry, Jenny and me, I found myself stuck behind this old couple who were walking like they were coming in second at a how-slow-can-you-walk race.

I’m not a very impatient person, so I was happy enough walking behind the turtle couple and enjoying the scenery on the way back from the cafe. After about thirty seconds, the old man turned halfway and saw me, stopped walking and spoke to his wife.

“Let the lady go past,” he said.

Bastard.

A few months earlier I was walking back to work from the cafeteria, when I reached a narrowing of the corridor at the same time as an old man with what I assume was his grandson. Being the nice, polite employee that I am, I stopped to let them go ahead through the corridor. That was when the old man grabbed his grandson’s hand and said “Let the nice lady go first.”

Bastard.

Back in February I had to fly from Sydney to Brisbane to be the best man at @buccaneerbrucey and @buccaneerbabe’s wedding. The trip started out normally, Adam dropped me off at the airport and I checked in, boarded and sat on the plane waiting for it to take off. Once we got into the air, the flight attendants started doing the thing they do with their trolleys. When the flight attendant got to my row, he served the guy closer to the aisle first, and once he finished, turned to me and asked,”Would you like something to drink, ma’am-sir?”

BASTARD.

Sometime after my second Ikea trip this week, I went to the local newsagents with Steve to grab that days copy of the IMAX dvds that come with the piece of crap that’s known as the Daily Telegraph.

After grabbing the paper, we lined up at the cash register to pay for the damn thing so we could get back home. Standing in the line ahead of us was a pleasant looking old lady who was buying some magazine, most probably Knitting Nonnas. The person behind her was a younger female, who was at that awkward stage everyone seems to go through when they stop being a teenager and become something else. I shall call her ‘Denise‘.

Denise was wearing a short, bright red tartan skirt with a long black jacket with a hoodie lined with stringy faux fur. Her hair was brown with blonde highlights scattered through it, and she had twisted a the front section of her hair into two little ponytails kept in place with elastic bands.

As we moved forward in the line, she turned around, saw me and drawled: ‘I love your style, brah!’ What ‘else could I say but ‘Thank you’ and hope she would leave it at that. No such luck. She pointed to my fringe and asked, ‘Is that natural?’ In the meantime, Steve was being no help, looking into the distance and pretending he couldn’t hear a thing. There was no way I was going to go into my whole hair preparation routine with this chick, so I lied and said that Yes, it was natural.

For the next five minutes she talked about her hair, the use of elastics and how lucky I was not having to use them. After she finished, she turned around, grabbed about seven packets of gum and argued with the cashier about why the lot should only cost $3.75.

We got out of there as fast as we could.

I’ve learned my lesson. The universe is trying to teach me that if I try to buy the Daily Telegraph, BOGANS WILL ATTACK ME.

Update: I lost the video during the blog reinstall process, and didn’t have it on my hard drive. Looks like another one of mankinds greatest treasures is lost forever.

Yeah. Did you like that tabloid headline? Here’s the video:

In lieu of a proper post, I am publishing photos that were taken at a super secret conference in an undisclosed location, attended by evil dictators who remain unamed because they are very, very dangerous. Very.

The Nasty Keyboard of No-Self-Respect (not actually my keyboard)

Humans are born with the desire to try everything, at least once. However, over the years, bad experiences and our parents telling us “No! Don’t do that!” causes us to gradually develop a little voice inside our heads that says “Maybe that isn’t such a hot idea…” Which is why we have it good, because these days we have the whole internet at the tips of our fingers, full of videos of people doing stupid things. That little voice keeps us from trying out Ninja Parkour without practicing does a pretty good job of keeping us safe…most of the time.

I’m not sure exactly what train of thought brought me there, but last night I remembered reading this XKCD strip and thinking “Gross! I’d never try that!”

And I didn’t. Not for a whole day.

Last night I made the mistake of lifting my keyboard above my desk, turning it upside down and shaking it. It was gross. There were little black bits and little red bits and grey bits that looked slightly alive.

Luckily, my inner voice stopped me from shaking the keyboard above my face,otherwise I’d probably be dead from some kind of poisoning. You’d probably like that, you sick bastards.

Let this be a warning to you: Do not turn your keyboard upside down and shake it over your face, okay? Don’t! It’s not sensible. It’s really not a good idea.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.